Procrastination? What's that?

There's something about the way Paris smells in nice weather that just makes me happy. It's some mixture of freshly baked bread, various flowers, goodness, puppies, and sex (masking the usual urine/dog poop/diesel/alcohol concoction, which also includes bread and sex, but sex somehow becomes more pungent in the summer. I think I'll stop this hyperbole now.). Unfortunately, nice weather does not make me want to do work, even though when I got back from Scotland, I was going to get up early and go to the library and write that paper and clean my apartment and make real food because it's nice outside and that puts me in a good mood. End result: I'm supposed to turn in a paper tomorrow (no official due date given), but I'll be lucky if I get it in by the end of the week because a)it's the last two weeks of classes and every professor is giving us assignments, b)it's summer in Paris, c)I have memoir shit to do, and d)my life is currently in large part consumed by translating Tom Stoppard, which is fun, but it's been about 7 months now, and I'm kind of ready for it to be done. Although there's supposed to be a reading of it with real actors in a couple of weeks, and I'm really looking forward to that. We also got to work outside today for a few hours, sitting on picnic chairs on the grassy knoll on avenue Foch, which was a really welcome change from the sometimes dungeon-like obscurity of the director's ground floor apartment. And I got a free lunch, which was, as always, awesome. I could be a billionaire, and I'd still be pleased when someone offered to buy lunch - cheap or just cheerfully grateful?

I'm coming back to the States in less than two months, and after I finish my thesis, I'm going to start some serious job searching, but, um, I kind of don't want to work. Especially not for the corporate monster (ugh, I can't believe I just said that. ok, I can.) or some company where I'll be photocopying and answering phones all day. After watching a bunch of Jake and Amir videos, I'm pretty sure collegehumor.com would be the most amazing place to work, but I'm also pretty sure they're like a secret society and I'd have to drink raw eggs and brand myself and possibly perform sexual acts to secure a desk. So, please give me some ideas and I'll think about them, and maybe the person that comes up with the best one will win a free meal and get to experience that aforementioned cheerful gratefulness/cheapness.* And if you can actually land me some super-cool, highly-coveted job, I might just throw in dessert and a movie.** Something extra if it pays really really well.***


*Dinner at the following places: McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King, or any other respectable establishment with a dollar menu. In-n-out not excluded because it is awesome.

**Dessert must be some form of chocolate and movie can NOT star Dane Cook, Kevin James, Jessica Simpson, Eddie Murphy, or Carrot Top (so, no midnight showings of Chairman of the Board, ok?), OR be about a group of high school students out to lose their virginity while camping in some creepy cabin in the secluded forests of one of the Carolinas.

***TBD. T really BD if we're talking six figures.

Now back to that paper on caricatures. Funny, it feels like I've written this paper five times already, and I still don't think I know anything about the subject. Ah, academia.